Well 38 years of doing the academic things I was good at and telling myself I wasn't athletic, that I can't run, that walking's great but I will never be able to jog more than the mile they made me do in high school.....I think finally a small part of me told me that was just Bullsh@t. Maybe it was the yoga I've been doing for 10 years, teaching me to be balanced in both mind body and spirit, I can't say for sure, but something led me to ask myself why did I accept this definition of myself? Why can't I change this preconceived notion of who I am? Use my strength and determination to remake the vision of who I am, not at what others see me but how I see myself.
And that something took root, and it grew until it became a GOAL. like a Capital G goal, not one of those New Year's resolution's that last a week. And that Goal was to actually run a 5K.
And then because fate always helps you out when you need it the most, Amazon sent me a link to a book... And that book was "A Beautiful Work in Progress" by Mirna Valerio. And that book and the Couch 2 5K Training App by Zen Labs helped me fundamentally change my self-image.
So I downloaded the 8 week C25K training plan and I signed up for a race that was 10 weeks out, because I knew I needed a deadline.... and I started.
So here's my journey in recap and all the conversations I had with myself during my 3x a week runs.
Week 1: Holy Crap I'm out of shape! How could jogging for one minute be so hard!?!?! I'm never going to get through this, what was I thinking?? And then... you got this Erin. You are strong. You are brave! Tell those muscles they can do it. And they did.
Week 2: Wow my knees really hurt...Ed (my husband) how am I going to do this? Am I going to break? to which he said a little pain is okay, it just happens and it will get better, you just have to be strong...
Week 3: I'm hot, sweaty and wondering how can I be sweating like this when it's below freezing outside? My knees ache and I finally realize that it's because my hip flexors are tight, and so I start religiously doing a bunch of yoga moves to open them up. Every day, doing stretches, doing ice packs, taking Aleve, and thinking to myself, you can't give up now.... make this pain count for something. Also I'm reading Mirna's book and she's telling me the same thing... don't let anyone tell you that you don't have a 'runner's body' or that overweight people should lose weight first, etc etc.... so I keep going...
Week 4 and 5: These were hard weeks. Just when I started getting my thigh muscles, knees, hips and core working together, the training program takes it up to longer intervals, and man my cardio just sucked!! Then one afternoon I was plodding along, slowly dying inside, and a woman who was sitting in her car with her kids waiting for someone, smiles at me and puts her thumb up and says sincerely "Hey, Nice Work" Will she ever know how much that voice of confidence meant to me??
So I keep going...... I find new problems to deal with; how do I run at night? How do I set a route when I don't know how long I'm going? I'm fortunate I have friends and family that helped me overcome each obstacle that I put in my own way.
Week 6: Mirna has a great quote in her book.... "You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience which you look fear in the face"
At this point in the training plan it has you running "1 mile or 10 minutes" Well I could now jog for 10 minutes without stopping but it sure as heck wasn't a mile. I knew as a beginner runner you should only worry about time or distance, not both, but I kept asking myself how am I going to get ready for a 5k if my training plan thinks I'm running a 10 minute mile when my mile is more like 13 minutes. I have to run longer then my app has planned for me. Another obstacle, but I'd overcome so many already.... so I started to create my own running plan for those last few weeks.. I got a timer app and set up my own intervals.
Week 7. The week I ran 2 miles without stopping.... for the first time ever...in my life... I still start to tear up thinking about it.
Week 8. The week I put Live Like Legends by Ruelle on my running play list and believed it....
Week 9. It was Thanksgiving week, and I was at the end of my training plan but still hadn't gotten to 3 miles, so that Wednesday I went out there, on the fabulous Clear Creek Trail where it's uphill on the way out and downhill all the way home, and when my timer app told me to turn around I went just a little further, and turned around at 1.5 miles instead of 1.3 and kept going and then I did it.. 3 Miles!!!!
Day of the Race....
So 5K day is here. The weather is unseasonably warm, I didn't sleep well, I'm out of sorts, nervous, start the run too fast, and start to really exhaust myself.... I don't know how I'm going to finish...I'm overheated, I'm sloppy, I'm distracting myself by all these people around me, so many doubts running in my head, but then I get to that 3 mile mark, and there's only .1 to go.... and I keep going.... My husband and my good friend Joanne are waiting there for me, full of love and support and they make me brave. and I keep going... all the way. And I tell myself I am brave, I am strong and I can be whoever I choose to be.
Sending Love and Light to anyone who journeys to create their own vision of themselves, and works to create a balanced mind, body and spirit through courage and through self-love.
Here's a link to Mirna's book if you'd like to read it too...
https://www.amazon.com/Beautiful-Work-Progress-Mirna-Valerio-ebook/dp/B01N21CG4I
and the app I used for my C25K
https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/c25k-5k-trainer/id485971733?mt=8
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